It's the Same Nightmare

Heidi had posted a blog some time ago about a guy who was referring to something about a checkout lane when he said, "See, it's the same nightmare". Since then, I've been using that line whenever anyone (including myself) starts to complain about something that's really not that big of a deal. Perspective is everything. Today, at the grocery, I heard a woman telling someone about how she was having a hard time getting off of her street because of the snow, and she referred to that as "a total nightmare". I really wanted to stop and explain to her what a "total nightmare" really is, but I had a cart full of frozen foods and I was really, really hungry. A lot of the things I hear people complaining about are actually just a part of everyday life. Like getting stuck in the snow.


I started this post thinking I'd make a list of actual nightmares I've experienced, but thinking about that just got me all depressed and I didn't want to post it. So instead, I'm going to go straight-up Oprah on the bloggity and share a little bit of what's going on in my heart and in my head these days. I had breakfast with some friends yesterday and when I told them that I was "just OK," they were asking if I'm OK with being "just OK". And the reality is, I don't even know. There was a time, for a little while, where I had a lot of joy in my life. Since that time, I've experienced a lot of tragedy, and as a result, I've really lost my joy. I don't have any idea how to get that back. Heidi and I have also talked about how people reach a point in their lives where they've experienced so many losses that they are really ready to leave this world and be with their lost loved ones. I don't think I'm there yet, either, though I do feel that way from time to time. I spend a lot of time wondering if this is as good as life will be for me, and if so, is that OK? I sometimes hear about people who've experienced what seem to be even worse tragedies than I have and they go on to find joy. I wonder if it's because they have families of their own, and I wonder if that's what it would take for me to be truly joyful again. So, I guess I'm doing a lot of wondering these days with and coming up with no real answers.