when i rule the world...

there will be clearly-marked bus stops with actual schedules posted. Scratch that. We'll just have underground for everything. I'm much better at waiting for the subway than i am at waiting for the bus. In case you're wondering why i'm waiting for the bus, it's because i drove my car ro pick up the truck. It's times like this that i wish i had a clone.

merry xmas!!

i mean, Moving Day. I am soooo excited to move back today that i'm up early and raring to go. All my leg muscles hurt from the weekend's flurry of moving activity, but =lm riding on adrenaline now. And off to get some caffeine to add to the mix. :-) just think. In about 12 hours, i'll be settling in to my own home again. Off to pick up the truck!!

where did everybody go??

remember that arby's commercial? The guy's running around this eerily empty city and he screams that out, and the reply is something like "to the 99-cent sale at arby's". I used to really love arby's. Then i tried one of their wraps and i was violently ill for an entire weekend. Now, i'm aware that those things may not be related. But since it was the last meal i had eaten before the sickness, i just can't stomach it anymore. For awhile, i would actually feel my stomach churning whenever i would think about arby's. Poor arby's. Here i have made a whole blog post about them, none of it good. I miss everyone. Where did you all go?

slightly disappointed in blogger

i sent a mobile blog on friday. It featured a great shot of Buzz looking out at the backyard of our office building. This post never appeared. I tried re-sending it again on Saturday. No dice. My mailbox shows it went out OK. So where is it??

I'm about 36 hours out from moving day. This is very exciting. YAY for moving BACK into my own house!!

what would you do?

This morning, on my way to my doctor's office, I experienced an interesting (and brief!) encounter that I didn't handle as well as I would have liked. I was on Galbraith Road, stopped at an intersection. I saw a woman standing on the sidewalk talking to someone in the car in front of me. I didn't realise it soon enough to get away, but she was asking for something. By the time I realised what was going on, she was at my passenger window. I thought she was asking for money because she was telling me some story about needing to get up the road for her kids to do something about a will of some sort. While I was digging around looking for some change to give her for bus fare, she turned back to get her stuff and that's when I realised that she wanted me to give her a ride. This caused me to freak out and drive away real fast. But I immediately started to feel guilty. I mean, the chances are far greater that this poor lady needed a ride than that she was going to carjack me, or worse. So what would you do?

entitlement?

i've been borrowing the internet for a good 6 months now. This usually works out just fine for me. After all, I have some Internets at work and on my phone already. So any Internets I use at home are for entertainment purposes. I'm just using it for looking at things, I think was the phrase I used to explain to the guy why I didn't need to have my own secure connection. I'm sure he thought that by "things" I meant porn. Sadly, I decided that I'd rather have him think that than explain that it's for looking at scrapbooks and blogs. ::sigh::
My borrowed Internet has been missing for 2 days now and you'd think I'm going thru detox if you saw me. I'm all edgy and restless and irritable and hungry. I haven't started puking and shaking yet, but I bet it's coming. So why do I mention all this? Because it's dawning on me how easily we can slip into this sense of entitlement in our lives. After all, it's not my neighbor's job to provide the Internet to me. Heck, the Internet isn't even a right. But man, am I annoyed.

waaay past my bedtime

Hello, all. Here are some general goings-on with which I could use help/feedback/support/encouragement/smiles:

1) If you volunteered to help with moving and I haven't already talked to you, it's because I can't recall who volunteered. If you are able to join us, I have several peeps lined up for Monday evening (Jen, Heidi, Kelly-B and their fellas), but the more the merrier. July 31. From the M-W to the 'Wood. It'll just be the big things. All the little boxes will be gone by then.
2) Update from the work front: I got the new job! Yay!! I'll be doing work on the same projects, but the work itself will be more technical. And at some point, more strategic. I love me some strategory!
3) Volleyball. If anyone wants to swing by Hooligan's at 6:30 or after, we could use any and all subs. We have 3 people out and it's tournaments, so we may not have subs depending on who we're playing at the moment (our usual subs are from the other work teams).
4) I'm really enjoying playing with Adobe Photoshop. Not for photo editing, for design and layout. Design #2 is posted here. Now all it needs is a photo or 2. I like it a lot considering I was just playing around. And, no mess to clean up when I'm done!

I hope everyone's having a good week so far. I'm going to try to be reasonably responsible and turn off the PC now. Oh, and I fixed my cookies (finally!) -- YAY!!

skin tag

this thing is driving me nuts. what should i do?

a) cut it off and cauterize the wound myself.
b) call now and make an appointment for some time several months from now, by which time I'll have been poking and prodding the thing to the point of nearly ripping it off anyway, or
c) bite it off.

VOTE NOW!!

Weakened America?

I heard some disturbing things on NPR this weekend. #1, one of the biggest trends among teens, tweens, and pre-tweens is spa visits. Spa visits, for pete's sake. As an employed, responsible, tax-paying adult, I've probably only been to a spa a handful of times. Yet we have an entire generation of young girls growing up who think this is part & parcel to everyday life. The reason why? This generation has the highest spending power per person than any generation before it. I believe the number was $159 billion. The report indicated that this works out to an average of $100 per week, per kid. Which is about $95 more per week than I have in expendable income. And with no financial obligations, these kids are going to grow right into a lifestyle that their jobs will not support. In case you're wondering who is instilling this set of values in these kids, it's the baby boomers. That's right. The Generation of the Underfunded Retirement is teaching their kids to put luxury purchases ahead of investing for the future. Now, I'm no money guru. Far from it. But I've learned the very hard way how to manage my money and make mostly responsible, fairly sound financial decisions. And it infuriates me that the very people for whom our government has had to implement the "catch up" retirement deposit is the same group encouraging their kids to follow in their footsteps.

I'm so upset about #1 that I can't even recall what #2 is. But when I do, I will definitely post a rant about it.

In other news, I decided to try my hand at digital scrapbooking. I wish scrapbooking had a cooler ring to it. Oh, well. I'm used to being a bit of a nerd. I will say that we have some good guys on our side. Mark Twain, for one. And that king from the book of Esther. They both had scrapbooks. And as self-absorbed as I sometimes feel that my scrapbooking can be, it also allows me to relive and enjoy the positive memories of my life.

Lastly, and I'm sure Heidi will have something to add about this, I wish our friends at Rubberm@id would have kept themselves focused on laundry baskets and storage tubs and out of the pre-fab shed business. Kelly's family (Mimi, Papa, and Abbey) along with Kelly and I got together today to put up her shed, the Big Max. The instructions indicated that this project should take 2 people a total of 30 minutes to complete. When I left at 9:45, the 5 of us had been at it since 7:30, and the roof was still not on the shed. We'll reconvene tomorrow to finish the job, but I just think that we either needed better directions or 2 giant guys from Rubberm@id in order to get that thing finished in 30 minutes. Silliness.

That's it for now. Hope everyone's doing well!

This landed on the windowsill just now...

...and one of my co-workers commented that it's probably because we all look bored nearly to death.

Nature. It's crazy.

open letter

dear lady shopping at biggs today.
when your kid comes careening around the corner pushing a kiddie cart at breakneck speed and almost takes out a couple of adult shoppers, don't tell her "Say 'Watch out!'". Tell her "Say 'Excuse me.'" Better yet, tell her to stop running around like a maniac in the store. Because next time, I'll tell her. And no one wants that. No one.

UPDATED. The people in your neighborhood

So, here are the links to the news stories:
http://www.channelcincinnati.com/news/9523596/detail.html
http://www.wcpo.com/news/2006/local/07/15/dynamite.html

The WCPO link is my favourite. You can actually see my neighbors and tenants in the photos there. One of which I have pasted here.

The picture right below that one is of 2 ladies I've never even seen before, standing in my driveway. I can NOT believe this all happened while I was out of town. Madness.

Apparently, in my neighborhood, they're hoarders of explosives and ammunition. I wish my little pocket internet could link this up, but it can't. So go to wcpo.com & find the headline about an evacuation in norwood. This is within a block of my house where I don't live. I'm in Urbana just trying to guess which of my neighbors this might be. Is it the guy across the street with the billy-bass mailbox? Or the other guy across the street who yells when anyone parks within 2 feet of the edge of his driveway? Is it the house where Herman the aged mutt lives? Or the abandoned-looking place that's 3 houses down? I'm pretty sure it's not either of my own next-door neighbors based on the description from the article. It could be the place 2 doors down where the old guy keeps a meticulous backyard. This is crazy.

If you ever find yourself wondering why I often say "welcome to my circle of despair," now you know.

saturday night special

live from the wal*mart in the sprawling east suburbs of urbana, ohio, i'm bringing you the update on all the small-town happenings. 1) there's a car show, and the attached photo shows my favorite entry of the show. see rule #7 from cuteoverload.com - any thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is doubly cute. this antique truck and model truck demonstate that. 2) there was a hot-air balloon show AND an art show today as well. this joint is hoppin'. 3) chris r@dford is married. i repeat, married. i'm not shocked, because his biological clock was ticking. but still. he met some chick and married her 4 months later. so yeah, we don't like him at all. oops that's probably a little mean, but i'm still hitting send on this puppy.

fun thing from rachel, erin style

Fun Band for a Lifetime: Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.

I chose Prince. He's covered an amazing range of musical styles in his career. Plus, he's one hot little man. Obviously, with these questions and his song titles, this could have gone way south, but I tried to keep it [somewhat] clean.

1. Are you male or female? And God Created Woman
2. Describe yourself: Baby I'm a Star
3. How do some people feel about you? Sexy M. F.
4. How do you feel about yourself? Hot Thing
5. Describe your ex: Nothing Compares 2 U
6. Describe your current significant other: There is Lonely
7. Describe where you want to be: Alphabet St.
8. Describe how you live: Play in the Sunshine
9. Describe how you love: Strange Relationship
10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Kiss
11. Share a few words of wisdom: Sometimes it Snows in April
12. Now say goodbye: Take Me With U

retrospection

From the 2002 files...

 

http://www.cincypost.com/2002/11/06/atransit110602.html

 

"Voters derailed a proposed $2.6 billion light rail system for Hamilton County Tuesday, overwhelmingly defeating a half-cent sales tax that backers hailed as a bold step toward a world-class transit system for Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky but that opponents castigated as a costly boondoggle.

By a 68 percent to 32 percent vote, countywide voters turned back Issue 7, which proposed to use a half-cent sales tax to build a light rail system that could have ultimately stretched from Northern Kentucky to Paramount's Kings Island, as well as fund $112 million in expanded bus service throughout the region."

I was thinking about the missing light rail system today as I drove to work and lamenting the fact that so many of my fellow Cincinnatians haven't gotten on board with this. Oh, how I wish that there would be a train that traveled the I-71 corridor. I would take the train every day just so I wouldn't have to drive. I have to think that all the folks coming from Mason into downtown could benefit from this. Because every day, I see them, sitting still on the other side of the highway, waiting for it to be time for them to inch forward ever closer to downtown. That would drive me over the edge.

In my opinion, light rail into and out of downtown is a no-brainer. It works in so many other cities. Why can't we make this work?

Internet wishes

Since some of my Internet wishes have come true, I'm going to try again.

 

I wish that I could go to the Poison/Cinderella show tomorrow night.

 

I love hair bands.

 

 

is it too soon to drop out of the race?

the human race, that is.

 

I decided to take a spin around the internet while I dine at my desk, and it looks like more of us have been up to no good:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/11_July_2006_Mumbai_train_bombings#_note-11

 

this makes me both sad, and mad. but mostly, it makes me want to cash in my chips and become a cat, or a butterfly, or anything that doesn't blow up a bunch of its own species in order to prove some sort of point. it doesn't matter to me where the blowing up happens, it's always sad. but when it's just a bunch of folks minding their own business and going to work, well, that's the worst.

 

 

pondering

If you find sleep in your eyes AFTER you get to work, does that mean that you were asleep on the drive in?

Close to 40

Not me. The price to fill my gas tank. $38.84, to be exact. This is probably far less than most of you are already paying, but I drive a Chevy Cavalier, for pete's sake. It only holds 13 gallons, total. I suspect that the next time I fill up, I will hit the $40 mark.

 

 

contemplating

For Pat's birthday, since I wouldn't be home, I decided to have breakfast in a local cemetary and release a balloon. I attached a note for Pat and gave the balloon a kiss before I let it go. I know it doesn't actually go to heaven, but the symbolism of the whole thing is enough for me. For his part, Pat would think I'm crazy doing all that, but these things I do are for me, not for him.

I spent most of the day trying to stay busy and not "dwell," but I obviously thought of him several times throughout the day. It's weird. I never thought I would be able to survive without my brother, so my whole life is just strange now. I think I always figured I would die of a broken heart if I lost him, and now that I haven't, I have to decide what life will be like from now on. I know for sure that this is much harder than I would have ever thought, because, again, I always thought I would literally die if I lost him. Instead, I'm here without him and have to try to find a reason to keep going when there isn't always a ready reason.

Now, if you're reading this and wondering why anyone is so close to her brother that she would just die if he died, I guess I won't really be able to explain it. But it's sort of like we were twins. We grew up and we had friends, but since we lived in the country, we couldn't just go next door to play with the other kids. So, we had each other as best friends, playmates, sometime enemies, and most of all, a united front against our parents. In our high school and college years, we were confidants and hang-out buddies. We spent our summers together in overlapping circles of friends. A friend of his told me once that Pat had told her that he was really looking forward to the part of our lives where we would each settle down and start a family. He wanted our kids to grow up together, knowing each other. I wanted that, too. Thinking now about what my life will be like when I do start a family makes me excited and sad at the same time. I know that he would have been so excited for me to get married and have kids, and although I have his little son to spoil, it just won't be the same without Pat.

countdown

Now, it's almost Pat's birthday and I think I'm actually more worried than anything else. Worried I won't do something I should, like call my dad. Or that I'll do something I shouldn't, like upset my sister-in-law. I've gotten to the point where I try to avoid thinking much about the so-called big days. There are too many for me to track now. I think I was actually fine, or close to fine as one can be after losing one's mother. But now, to quote from Pulp Fiction, I'm pretty f***ing far from OK. I wonder if I'll ever be truly OK again. I used to be fine with the idea that I'll have Good Days and Bad Days. But when there are so many days to mourn and miss one's departed loved ones, it seems as though all of life is just one long Bad Day.

"Outgowing"

This is further along the topic of yesterday's survey question.Rachel's last point is pretty much what was on my mind when I posed the question and here's why.A friend of mine mentioned recently that he had, at one point, "outgrown" his friends.I think this is something that just about every woman can understand, because my observation has been that most women don't maintain their relationships with "old friends".In particular, I'm thinking of friends from high school, and in my case, college.Yet, I think every guy I know has at least one friend from that far back.Side note: I do still keep in very occasional contact with my group of friends from high school, and to Heidi's point, I think guys are much more comfortable with that.I wouldn't expect any of them to ask me to be in their weddings, but if we were guys, we'd be each others' groomsmen for sure.Back on point.I think there's something about that loyalty that makes it that much harder for guys to move on and make new friends that it is for women.

Survey Question of the Day

Is finding and maintain friendships harder for men, or for women? Or, it is equally hard, but for different reasons?

Last night's update

I was going to sum it up myself, but my friends at The Chicagoist did a better job than I ever could.

For better shots of Leonid the Magnificent, check here. You have to scroll about halfway down to find him, but believe me, you can't miss him.

I am fascinated with this man.

unsure

just a few days from now will be the day that would have been Pat's 29th birthday. And when that occured to me just now, I expected the thought to be followed immediately by that too-familiar ache of missing someone I love and can never see again. But this time, it wasn't there. No feeling of pain. No sensation of missing Pat at all. Just an overall lack of feeling. Leaving me to ponder whether I'm moving forward in my grief, or if I'm really just numb clear through to my soul.

NOT a fan of myspace

I realise this is akin to dumping someone, dating around, coming back together, and then complaining to each other about the people you dated while you were "on a break". But I just have to get it off my chest that I am NOT a fan of myspace. The fact that I could organise my blog by topics was the main draw. But in order to get that, I had to deal with slower page loading, random strangers' attempts to fly me to other countries, and more thong shots than a Victoria's Secret catalog. Thanks, but no thanks. I am apparently WAAAY too old for all that noise.

In other news, it's already Wednesday (yay!), but I can't seem to get going on any Wednesday work, which is why I'm sending this blog via email. Also, as usual, I have career and life dilemmae and an impending move. So, pretty much the same things since the last time you talked to me, probably.

In the best of all possible news, I got a really nice and really big TV from my cube neighbor Kelly's friend who is leaving the country this week. I'm sad that they are leaving, especially because that family is part of Kelly's urban tribe. But I can't lie -- the TV sure is nice.

if i had a billion dollars

i would build or buy one of those retirement living communities and convince all of my friends to move in, too. We would each have our own little building, but we would also share a pool, clubhouse, and there would be a restaurant so we could dine together if we wished. We would have a gate at the entryway and that way we could just drive our golf carts around to each other's houses. This would be so great because i could easily see all the people i love, but i'd still have my own private space. And if anyone needed to leave the compound, er, community - well, they could drive their golf cart up to the giant garage, get in their car and drive away. This would be the best home EVER.

open letter

dear man driving by my house today,
i don't drive by your home while you are outside and yell "dumbass". Please reciprocate by not yelling "bigass" as you pass by my home.
regards,
erin