SORRY THE BLOG IS JACKED

I'm working on some things again. I'll be moving this blog. Sorry to make you have to update your links and all that. The idea here is that I'd like to make oxygenbandits into the site I always wanted it to be, which is NOT about me, and ALL about reporting on those little bastards who are sucking up our oxygen. And that will require a LOT more coarse language and generally unkind comments, so I really need 2 separate places for all of this.

Something I'll be adding to this blog is the content of my previously-private blog about losing my mother and brother and the thoughts and feelings that come up sometimes surrounding those losses. As you might expect, I've been dealing with that a lot more in the past several weeks and today was a particularly rough day for me. Dealing with loss is a little like being in a 12-step program in that you really do have to take it One Day at A Time. I know it sounds cliche', but it's also very true. So, I'll be writing more about that now that I finally feel like I can share those feelings. So, the blog is morphing yet again, but I think that will be a good thing. And of course, once I get the blog moved, I will be upgrading to the new Blogger!

so, so late

If you haven’t received a holiday card from me, it’s because I haven’t mailed any cards yet. If you somehow did receive one, well, that’s just weird. And if you are CubeNeighborKelly, I saved you the extra work of having to open and read it, and just tossed yours in the trash can for you. Heh.

This year, I gathered all the random Christmas cards from around my house and around my dad's house and that's what I'm sending. It's been kind of fun to go through and pick cards that make me think of a particular person, or that I think a particular person would like. So, if you get a card that you really like, just be aware that you may be the only person who got that same card.

Discussion Post

Here’s something from msn.com today:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16287113/?GT1=8816

 

I would like to know what people think about the study, and whether the stats are accurate. I was actually surprised at the 90% stat and not sure I believe it.

 

Discussion starts…now.

More general thoughts

I wonder how long the friendly folks at blogger will let me go on without switching to their new version. I plan to hold out as long as I can, but they've already gone from encouraging messages and notifications that it's available to making the sign-in screen all but force me to make the switch.

Your Questions Answered:
*The new blinds came from JCPenny.com (I don't think I spelled that right) and I got the second set today. SIDE NOTE: They actually addressed them incorrectly, so the blinds ended up on the Army boys' porch. And the boys looked close enough to see that the box actually had blinds, because one of them announced when I got home, "Erin, you got some blinds that got delivered over here!" I just hope that the same thing doesn't happen whenever my birth control pills show up. Which I use for keeping my acne clearer, in case you were getting ready to judge me. Heh.
*Motivation for running/walking. This is actually not hard for me right now, because the weather is PERFECT for running outside and I already have a gym membership for when I can't be outside. And right now, getting out and moving my body just feels good. However, it's been a long road to get to this point: I trained hard for an entire year to prepare to run/walk the Flying Pig marathon, ran an entire marathon 3 weeks before the Flying Pig as part of that training, and then ran the Flying Pig in a blazing finish time of 7.5 hours. Right after the race, I decided to take a break from running because the plantar fasciitis was wickedly painful. Then, through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I let myself slide over the next 3 years until I wasn't running or even walking, and found myself getting winded after a single flight of stairs. For some reason, on Saturday, I felt completely disgusted with my current physical condition, and finally decided to get off the GD sofa and do something. Of course, I could have just circumvented a LOT of pain and misery, as well as lots of sadness, by having never stopped running in the first place, but hey -- hindsight is 20/20.

Running observation, day 3: Handicapping. I've been thinking about this as I crawl along the streets of the 'Wood. I think I should be able to handicap my minutes/mile in direct proportion to my weight. For example, flat-out running gets me about a 12-minute mile (each subsequent mile gets slower) Let's say I'm 200 pounds**. And let's say I have a friend who also runs a 12-minute mile, but she weighs 120 pounds. So we are both running at the same rate of speed, but I am essentially lugging around an extra 80 pounds - like if I were carrying a big Army pack with me. I'm not saying that I don't want to try to go faster. I'm just saying that my fitness level should be considered as higher than my 120-pound friend, or possibly equal to a faster friend who weighs less. I'm pretty sure this is how they do it for racehorses. Also, if you happen to be one of my 120-pound running friends, I promise not to ask you to carry an extra 80 pounds on our run if you promise not to make me run 8-minute miles.


**All times and weights have been changed to protect the innocent.

Random Observations Along the Way

I have a lot of frustrations in my life right now, and I've decided that I'm just going to go for a run/walk whenever I start getting wrapped up in them. Today was Day 2 of the "Running Kills Frustration" campaign. I observed a LOT on this run!

First, running and walking are both mind-clearing activites. I knew this, but somehow I managed to forget it over the past few years. It's really hard to stay mired in sadness or anxiety when you are in the middle of a run/walk. Try it; it really is hard. So, at least for those few minutes of the day, I can let my mind roam where it wants. Something else that helps with that is listening to Trance (Techno). Trance really does take me to a higher state of consciousness. I am much more creative AND focused while listening. I listen to it a lot at work because I have lots of tasks that require me to focus and isolate myself from distractions. Anyway, it helps with the running and walking because it provides a tempo and a distraction from the pain, and all the jiggling, and the labored breathing.

Second, I love the weather we are having and I wish that it would always be in the 50s-60s in December. I don't really care for Christmas, much - other than the birth of Christ part, and the cynic in me is always quick to point out that He was probably born in the Springtime, anyway. But the great weather we have right now has really elevated my mood. I actually have been able to go outside and ENJOY the neighbors' Christmas decorations and my neighborhood in general. I really like it here and I'm glad that things fell into place for me to move back into my own house!

On the "cool down" part of my run/walk, I noticed a dead mouse on the sidewalk. Ew.

Last, and certainly not least, I think Stella must not have known I was just going out for a quick walk (because she's a cat, and cats can't tell time). When walked back into the house, I heard a loud banging noise over the sound from my headphones, and just as I yanked them out of my ears, there was another loud bang, and I realised that Stella was crawling OUT of a cabinet in my bedroom and the banging was the door swinging shut behind her. I immediately opened the door to see what she had been doing, and I realised that she must be opening the door while I'm gone so she can climb in there and take a nap on the towels, because the top towel was super warm and had some stray hairs on it. That Stella. She has a mind of her own. I have found a few other cabinet doors open this way, but I keep thinking it's something else, like the wind or old-house problems. Now I know it really is her.

bah, humbug

I’m Erin, and I hate the holidays. I really, really do. Sure, I like the part where people get together and laugh and have fun, and I do like to see the twinkly lights that all my neighbors have hung, and I even enjoy the cheesy holiday specials and all-holiday-music programming on the radio stations. But I can’t stand all the shopping and the rushing around and the being generally rude to store clerks and fellow drivers and fellow shoppers. I was in the Hobby Lobby earlier this week. The Hobby Lobby is one of my favorite stores, because it’s basically a Giant Warehouse of Potential Unfinished Projects. And we all know how I treasure and cherish my Unfinished Projects. So, I’m there, in my favorite store, which is usually quiet, because I visit in the evenings when most other Hobbyists are home cooking dinner and getting the kids ready for bed. But this night was not like any other night, because some lady had let her 2 kids loose in the store, and while they were running up and down the aisles screaming at each other (which was really kind of cute for the first 2 aisles and then got REALLY OLD, REALLY FAST), she was nowhere to be found. And all of the other shoppers were walking around with that look that Heidi described as “trying to look irritated and trying to pretend like it’s not happening, all at the same time”. After some time, I make my way up to the front of the store, and I see that the lady is now up there, and the kids have finally joined her, but that hasn’t calmed them down at all. In fact, they’re still both screaming, and one of them is actually in the cart, jumping up and down. And all the while, she is just doing the normal checkout activities like nothing is at all out of the ordinary, while the rest of us in line are doing The Look again. Ergh. So, while all this is going on, the strangest development EVER happens, right behind me. There are basically 3 lanes open, but they’re all bunched together so there’s kind of a cluster of shoppers and not a lot of order. And the lady behind me has a cart with about 20 little various items. And the lady behind her has one spool of ribbon, the kind you take and wrap around an entire tree. And the Ribbon Lady says to the Cart Lady, “Um, excuse me, Hi, I only have one item, and you have a lot of items, and I was wondering if you could let me go ahead of you so I can just get out of here.”…I’m going to pause here and let you soak this in, because that’s what Cart Lady did, and that’s actually what I was doing, too. Keep in mind that I’m actually in the checkout process, so my place in line is neither threatened nor even negotiable at this point. I am merely observing this interaction. So, I’m thinking to myself, “Is this right? This isn’t how it works, right? You don’t ask to go ahead. People offer that, if they notice.” Certainly, people have done that for me before, but I’ve never asked. So Cart Lady starts stammering her way through some sort of apologetic “no, I need to get out of here and I was even thinking about leaving without this stuff” story, and the whole time, I’m getting angrier and angrier at Ribbon Lady. And Ribbon Lady actually has a rebuttal of “but I only have one thing,” and thankfully, Cart Lady stuck to her guns, because really, it’s not Cart Lady’s fault that Ribbon Lady only had one thing. I mean, come on. So Ribbon Lady is pulling out all the stops to make Cart Lady look like some kind of jerk for not letting her go in front, and just when I’m thinking I’m maybe going to interject and say something, but I can’t even begin to figure out what the appropriate comment is here, some lady from the next line over says, “Here, you can go in front of me. It’s not that big of a deal!” As if Cart Lady is just The Worst Person Ever to Walk the Face of the Earth, and I’m now thinking to myself “I wonder how the lady behind Martyr Lady feels about this, since Martyr Lady just let Ribbon Lady in front of her, too.” And I finally decided to just flee the building because I didn’t even know where to start to make this right. And because the 2 Screaming Banshees were STILL screaming.

 

Side note to Ribbon Lady: It is considerate and kind when people notice you only have one item and offer to let you go in front of them. It is rude, inconsiderate, and selfish for you to ASK anyone to do that for you. So yeah, if you wonder why I hate the holidays, it’s stuff like that.

success

here is the new top-down shade. as you can see, it does the job perfectly. now i can enjoy beautiful sunlight AND my privacy at the same time. i can hardly wait for the other one to arrive, but it won't ship until 12/15. in the meantime, i am really going to admire this one.

:-)

I'm not here for your entertainment...

…and other lyrics from the “Euro Music World” station I’ve been listening to:

 

I'm not here for your entertainment...

…quit spilling your drinks on me.

Keep your drink; just give me the money,

It’s just U and UR hand tonight.

 

Heh. This is actually Pink, in case you want to download the song for yourself.

 

What I'm Reading

I finished a book last night, Every Contact Leaves A Trace. It’s a compilation/synopsis of LOTS of interviews with people involved in police work, forensics, and the trial process. The author conducted all these interviews and then organized her quotes into sections such as “Crime Scene Processing,” “DNA,” and “Criminal Trials”. Very interesting stuff. Here, I’ve provided my 2 favorite quotes from the book.

 

The first is from a Prosecutor: “We see homicide, every day…I just can’t get over it…It happens so frequently that – phew! Am I normal, or what? You know, I’m fifty-two years of age. I’ve spent fifty-two years’ worth of weekends in my life. And at the end of every weekend, I come back to work on Monday without having committed a homicide over the weekend. Now why can’t other people do that?” Heh.

 

And this, from a Crime Scene Processor, regarding pets: “We get a lot of calls where the person is murdered at home, but is not found for a period of time. And so the animals have already started to take the body apart because they haven’t been fed in that period [Stella!!]…I tell you – dogs are more loyal than cats…Cats will wait only a certain period of time and they’ll start chewing on you [STELLA!!]. Dogs will wait a day or two before they just can’t take the starving anymore. So, keep that in mind when choosing a pet. You know how a cat just stares at you, maybe at the top of the TV, from across the room? That’s because they’re watching to see if you’re gonna stop breathing.” Again, heh. I love cop humour!!

twoFer Friday

The presence of two posts in one day indicates my total lack of interest in doing anything remotely productive. Don’t worry – I’ll pay for that next week, to be sure.

 

You know when you go to someone’s house and you see an interesting figurine, or wall hanging, or other piece of…art? And you wonder to yourself, “Where does one even buy such a thing? Certainly not in the stores I frequent!” Well, kids, I have found out where one buys such a thing, and it is here. Just call this place a little slice of heaven.

 

This one is for Jenn

(and Frank!)

 

http://dlisted.com/2006/11/30/riddle-me-this/

 

Growing Up, Growing Old

I've spent a lot of time in my dining room this weekend, trying to get my stuff sorted into groups by tasks so I can make good decisions about how to build the cabinetry. For example, everything that has to do with cutting or punching or sanding in one area, everything related to joinery -- adhesives, fasteners and the like -- in another area. An interesting point (or not!) is that working with paper and working with wood have a lot of parallels, so I should end up with a decent scaleable design for my workshop as well. :-) I just ordered window shades from JCPenney. These will be the first "layer" for the windows, and probably the only layer in the summer months. I am really excited because they are "top-down/bottom up" - so I can adjust them from either direction, which will be nice to let the sunlight in without having my neighbors seeing me move around. Thing is, this seems like a very "grown-up" activity, in my mind. I can say that this is the first time in my entire life that I actually planned and then ordered any window treatment. So, I feel a bit like a lady, as it were.

It's been a really nice long weekend, especially with the beautiful weather we've been having. And of course, after a visit to Joe D, I had a carload of stuff to unpack, sort through, clean up, and store. This is my way -- I go there, I get some things, I bring them here, and I decide whether to keep or purge. This is my "Stealth Organizational Project," a sub-workflow of the "Giant Organizational Project". One of the boxes had another part of the family postage stamp collection. I say "family," because at one point, I think we actually had my grandfather, father, brother and myself collecting stamps. Exciting stuff. I was going through the books and contemplating what I could do to consolidate the collection and how to make sure the stamps are well-preserved and considering going to a local stamp club meeting and it hit me that I'm beyond grown up at this point. I am actually an old man, what with my love of stamps and trains. Of course, I am also a 14-year old girl, with my love of kittens and ponies and the like. And I'm a diva, based on my collection of makeup and hair products (most of which are never used), and a middle-aged man, based on my tool collection and plans for my workshop. So I guess I'm really just a lot of things. Not easily categorized or referenced, to be sure.

Query

I have mentioned previously that I wanted to look into taking some medication for my sleep problems. Now, let's say, hypothetically speaking, that my well-intentioned neighbor happens to take said medication and that -- hypothetically now -- she foisted some of said medication off on me today.

What would be the right thing do, if such a situation were to actually occur? She would certainly ask me at some point if I had tried the medication, and how it worked. Would the best course of action in this situation be to continue with my plan to talk to my doctor about this and then just tell the neighbor that the medication worked? Or to actually take the medication? I do hate these types of hypothetical problems...

Open Letter

Dear Blog and Friends who Read my Blog,

I am sorry for my extended absence of late. I do not know why this happens, but I seem to be incredibly busy and yet non-productive lately. However, I have many random snippets of updates to share. And since we all know how much I love a good list, here goes:

1) My new job is still really challenging and still very busy, but I really do love it. Every day, I feel like I understand a little bit more and that there is hope that, one day, I will actually know how to do the job.
2) We got "early release" today, so I only had to work until about 12:30. YAY!
3) I have been cleaning and organizing pretty much constantly, although you'd never know it to look at the place. I have discovered that I need more furniture, specifically STORAGE and WORKSPACE.
4) This is all OK, because WE FINALLY PICKED OUT THE TABLE SAW!! And, JoeD paid for it, AGAIN. Which means that the money he gave me for the saw before can go to other things, which should probably be "savings," but instead, turns out to be "scrapbooking supplies". YES!
5) I love television. I am really hopelessly addicted to it, which again, is OK, because:
6) Last week, one of my co-workers hosted a "FRIENDS" trivia party, which was exceptionally fun. Here is a pic of my team wearing the t-shirts we made. I printed the decals out the night before and we ironed them on and made the sign during my lunch hour. Hee!
7) Boston Market prepared our Thanksgiving feast this year, and if you think that's ridiculous, just imagine trying to prepare your own Thanksgiving feast for 4 adults and one typical 3-year old and you'll know why we chose to have the Boston Market do the work. I would rather prepare a meal for 40 than for 4. At least you get some scale there.
8) The mirror from the baby shower is finished and it's here: http://www.starglazers.com/ - click on "examples" and it's the 3rd one. I think it turned out great! What a pheomenal idea from Jenn-Dub!!
9) I know I end up saying this a lot, but I really do think I have the best friends in the world and I'll be thinking of each and every one of you over the holiday weekend!
Love,
-Erin

"private" message to Rachel

I can't get this to go on your blog, so here's my comment on your latest LIT post:

Heidi is wickedly diabolical and awesome!
I have to admit that I was both sickened and delighted at the entire story. because I love to tell stories and talk about things that are gross.
also, i am especially delighted that SHE asked HIM to go out. And that their "date" entailed her lifting some grub and coming back to his place to get it on. I have to give you mad propers for thinking to make all the noise so they wouldn't be having all the sex on your sofa. Ew. Things like this make me miss you, yet, if you weren't away, you wouldn't have this particular story to share. Ah, the paradox!!

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

The Good: I think my voting precinct hit an unofficial record tonight. They were at 402 voters, and the most they've ever had, even in presidential election years, was 250. This is all anecdotal, from one of the poll workers. I thought I would be the "odd bird" as a Provisional voter, but there were 2 in front of me and 2 behind me, so I guess Provisional voting is the new Absentee voting. Although Absentee voting was supposed to be the new ballot box. So who knows where we're headed next?

The Bad: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/retirement/view/ Frontline's report on the sad state of retirement savings today. The last thing I need is to hear more bad news about how the middle class is getting pinched. Actually, it's possible that this is just the thing a lot of us need. I can say that my votes tonight went toward the candidates who seemed the most concerned with the issues of the middle class. I know it's very proletarian of me, and being proletarian is not en vogue these days. But I'd rather accept my fate and try to work toward a brighter day for all of us than live in denial, pretending that I'm part of the Bourgeoisie when I'm actually not.

The Ugly: I still cannot get my sleep habits under control. Sunday night, 2 Benadryl did the trick. Last night, 2 Benadryl caused me to oversleep through my alarm and be massively late to work. Tonight, I took 1 Benadryl and I've decided to talk to my doctor about Lunesta.

it's a love thing

This is a picture of my new baby. I am much more in love with this car than any adult woman should be with an entry-level sedan, but it's such a big upgrade from the 9-year-old Oatmobile that I don't really care. I need to come up with a nickname for her. One of my co-workers suggested The Bounty Hunter. Hee!

Please don't judge her too harshly from this pic - it's not her good side.

sendin' forget-me-nots

to help you to remember...me. I have been in absentia lately and i apologise. Not much time or space to catch up, so i'm just listing points to pique your curiosity.
1. My new job keeps me very, very busy.
2. I spent my first "whole day" with tommy last weekend. It went well. Next time, we're going to the discovery museum.
3. My dad gave me a birthday gift of cash to buy my table saw, but i haven't done that yet, because
4. I threw all reason and sense to the wind and bought a new car yesterday. Gulp.
5. The car salesman is missing an eye. He is also a bounty hunter.
6. My company has announced publicly that my division is up for sale. $5 billion, OBO.
7. I'm playing shuffleboard thursday nite.
8. I made papier-mache fall decorations last week.
9. If you haven't made it to firepit friday, you've missed out. However, there is no FPF this week. Stay tuned for the 11/3 edition, where we celebrate heidi's big 2-5!!

Insomnia...I can't get no sleep

In the off chance that anyone is even checking this blog anymore, I thought I would post...something. I don't even have a decent excuse for being so absent. I guess I've just been busy, with LOST and friends and house things and trying to get a decent night's sleep. Which finally happened, courtesy of LynnieT and her AMAZING cave-like guest room. I slept like a freaking ROCK and didn't even hear her doing dishes in the kitchen above me, or doing laundry just down the hall. It was seriously the best sleep I've had since I snuck down to the Quiet Room at work one morning and took a 45 minute nap in what can only be described as a sensory deprivation chamber. Another amazing nap to comment on.

LynnieT and her husband used to play a game called "there's Erin". It's similar to "there's JoeD," except instead of pointing out any guy who had a white beard, flowered Hawaiian shirt, and Teva sandals, they would point out any person who was totally punched in a public place. Because I used to be able to do that, very easily, and would often take naps in the park, or the front yard, or anyone's sofa, anytime. Now, I can hardly get any kind of decent sleep, which makes me exceptionally cranky for most of the time. ARGH.

PS - "A Thing Called Love" is on the radio right now and they just said that the band's lead singer died. Sorry, Heidi.

LOST in Emotion

the rumours of my LOST addiction are false. Obsession, perhaps. But addiction, well that's just silly.

I have been working since last Thursday to get caught up. Which means, watch every episode, because I am that far behind. I have been watching 8 episodes a day since Saturday. I still have 8 more from S2, so I won't be watching the premiere tonight. No spoilers, please. I'll be watching the premiere online on Thursday. Then, I'll finally be a real boy! Just like Pinocchio.

Da-da-da-da-da-duh...ya say it's your birthday...

well, it's my birthday, too, yeah! Actually, I'm not all that excited about my birthday in and of itself. But I am excited to have taken the day off, and that my cookout is in just a few days.

And I wish that Lunesta butterfly would fly by my house. I know it's actually a moth, but I like to think of it as a butterfly. Please flutter by, butterfly. I need your help.

Yet another Year

Birthdays get harder every year. Not because I care about aging. It just reminds me of having to carry on without my baby brother. I always felt so connected to him and that we had a special bond that was tough to understand. This waned over time and changed into something different as we became adults. But we were still close, and we had experienced so much grief and joy together that I really never imagined that I could have a life without him. And so, each birthday is just another reminder of all that I've lost, instead of a celebration of my own life.

This Week's Public Service Announcement

I have decided to add a new feature to my blog. We all want to do our part to make the world a better place. But sometimes it's hard to figure out where to even start. So, dear readers, together we'll share our experiences and do what we can. Last week's post about diamonds was the first PSA. Your purchasing power can make a difference.

But on to this week's topic: freecycling. The Freecycle network is a nationwide network of Yahoo! Groups full of local folks who have items to discard but do not want those items going into landfills. Items are posted by sending a message to the group, the "winner" is selected by the poster from the interested responses, and together they make arrangements for pick-up. This is a great way to get unwanted items out of your home and into the hands of someone who can put them to use. I've been offering items and taking items for a couple months now and it works well. I urge you to google "freecycle" and look for more on the network in your area. Try it and give us updates.

Through The Years

Class rings were a pretty big deal at my High School. Girls wore their boyfriends' rings with yards of yarn wraps in colors to match their outfits, or in our school colors (maroon & white) on Fridays. Guys wore their girlfriends' rings on gold serpentine chains. In my high school years, I only had a guy's ring a few times, and never for very long. I never had a serious boyfriend until I was in college, so wearing a guy's ring was a weird thing for me.

Most kids ordered their rings in the fall of sophomore year. I waited until junior year b/c I couldn't figure out which of all those little panels to pick. I didn't want Sparky, our mascot, and I only played soccer the one season. I was always busy, but a lot of it was karate and church things rather than school things. I also remember looking at the choices and wondering why we didn't have fencing, or drum core, and a lot of other things that were clearly available at other schools. I finally settled on karate (girl) and a tiger head, which was the karate school icon. In retrospect, I would pick Sparky and the castle image. But it's all a moot point b/c I lost my ring not long after I got it. I think it went down the big drain in the kitchen at my restaurant job. I looked everywhere for it that night, but never found it. I went home scared and told my mom, and she was upset but tried not to be. She told me not to tell my dad b/c he'd be upset. I don't know if she ever did tell him. I do know that I never brought it up again b/c I didn't want to upset him, either. Secretly, I've always wished that it would turn up somewhere, somehow. Like, someone found it somehow and tracked me down. Or somehow my dad actually had it all along and never said anything about it. I don't actually believe that will happen, but I do think about it from time to time.

Sadly, I also lost my High School yearbooks several years ago. Maybe that's part of the reason I try to hang onto little bits of memorabilia that other people wouldn't, because some of the bigger pieces have been lost over the years.

Witchy Woman

That's a bit of a stretch for the title of this blog.

I need help with a couple of things (go figure!). This time, it's fun, though. You get to vote (YAY!!). Every year, I want to be something cool/funny/hip/cute for Halloween. But I never seem to know of any parties to go to and I just kind of blow it off. Then, the weekend before Halloween rolls around and I've waited too long and then I inevitably hear of some party I could go to, but I have nothing to wear. So this year, I've resolved to do this early, and if I don't get invited to a party, then I'll just wear my costume to the grocery store. And church.

So far, I've come up with (i.e. "lifted") the following ideas:
1. Pez Dispenser (I like this one especially because Pat collected Pez dispensers)
2. Egg
3. Potato(e) Head (with a bucket of parts!)
4. Sequined girl popping out of cake (I like this one because the cake would cover my "problem areas" but still be kind of cute, and not too smutty)
5. Witch (suggested by the little girls next door when they asked me to be in their Haunted House)

Let me know what you think, or if you have any suggestions. I always come up with obscure and confusing costumes, so the ideas I listed are already "out of the box" for me.

Also, I am in search of some Halloween music & sounds CDs that I could borrow now to get me inspired to decorate and work on my costume. If you have any suggestions for those, please post.

Touch of Grey

Sorry if I misspelled Grey, but I'm too lazy to look it up to find out how Jerry spelled it.

That dang white eyebrow hair is back. This is ridiculous. I have got thick, dark hairs in all kinds of very unattractive places that I have to pluck. The last thing I should have to do is also pluck thick, grey hairs out of my freaking eyebrows. If I had the energy, I'd be flailing right now.

I decided earlier today that tonight would be Pluck Night (random sidebar: "Pluck Night" reminded me of "Fight Club," which is the image that this week's cover of CityBeat is channeling. I wanted to tell Heidi this when we picked up our copies tonight, but for some reason, I couldn't turn this thought into a sentence that would make any sense, so I just moved right along), and I was later upset by my decision because I discovered after making said decision that I am missing a pair of tweezers.

Now, I have 2 pairs of tweezers, so I was tooled up to get the job done. But that doesn't matter, because I spent a lot of perfectly good tweezing time in a desperate and vain search for the other pair. You see, it is incredibly, horribly disruptive to my train of thought when I realise that I actually cannot find something. This is because, no matter how messy my place gets, I *know* where everything is located. So not knowing where something is located is really problematic for me, and I tend to obsess over that thing until I am able to deduce where it might have ended up and return it to its proper location.

The problem with the current situation is that I cannot begin to imagine where the tweezers might have gone. They could really be anywhere since they were probably misplaced during the move. And knowing that they are probably here, but that I don't know where they are, is the worst. I am aware that this obsession is bordering on unhealthy, but still: can someone please offer me some validation here? Tell me I'm OK. Share your stories. Make me feel normal again...or just hold me.

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

...if that girl wants to contribute to murder, human rights violations, children at war, slavery, unsafe working conditions, and continued economic disparity in 3rd-world nations. Sounds harsh, I know, but they're not my words. There's plenty of information out there on this:

http://www.fguide.org/Bulletin/conflictdiamonds.htm
http://wghfilms.com/bling.htm
http://www.amnestyusa.org/diamonds/index.do

I'm not suggesting that anyone trade in the diamonds they already have. That's just crazy talk. But I am asking that you consider seriously if another diamond, or a bigger diamond, is something you really need in your life, and if having that thing is really worth the kinds of horrible things that happen to bring those diamonds to this country. I think it's time that we as Americans, and especially those of us who are Christians, use our fiscal clout to speak about our expectations for the standards of living for all of God's children.

One Way Or Another

Stella's going to find a way to wet the bed. And since I've made it nearly impossible for her to pee on my bed, she decided last night (nay, this morning, at 3AM) to do the deed by spilling my entire glass of bedside water onto me, soaking the sheets and startling me out of a deep sleep. Needless to say, I was not pleased. All I can say is, lucky for her, she's cute.

Thank You For Being A Friend

Sorry if you are starting to think that my blog is more about my friends than about me. But really, I'm not that exciting to read about, day after day, anyway. Plus, if you are a friend of mine, you know that I spend a lot of time telling stories about other friends of mine. It's what I do. So, I just want to say that I'm super-thankful for each and every one of my friends. Tonight, I spent a couple of hours with some of the Ladies Who Lunch from work, just having drinks and chatting about work life. One of our lovely Ladies left awhile ago to pursue a new career path and so we don't get to lunch with her as regularly anymore, and we miss her. And so, we all had a fantastic time just being together. And I love that. And I need that in my life, perhaps more so now than at any other time before. So I just want to say thank you, to all of you who read my blog or stop by at work or come by the house for a visit. For the people who call and the people who write, and the folks who pray for me and my family. I really do appreciate every bit of it, and I need it, to keep me going and to make my life liveable. And I hope that someday, I'll be able to help each of you in some way, and to help make the world a better place. It's been a rough few years, and this time of the year (May-September) seems to be the hardest anymore, with all the birthdays and anniversaries and other significant days. So it helps to know that you care and that I can count on you to listen, or distract me, or make me do things I wouldn't do on my own but that I really need to do. And now that this is about as sappy/weepy as it gets, I'm going to cut myself off and say "Thanks," one more time.

A Little Help From My Friends (Reprisal)

I just want to say that I am so blessed to have such a great group of friends. And to give specific examples, I want to thank Kelly, Jenn, and Lynn for their help this weekend. Kelly went with me (on 30 minutes' notice, no less!) to the West side to pick up a giant piece of carpet. Loading that into the Cav was no small feat. Jenn stopped by today to help with my request about the lattice. It looks like I need to do more work on that, but Jenn's steady support kept my ladder stable. And she really got showered in dirt and splinters while doing it, so I appreciate her help all the more. Just when we were finishing up, Lynn showed up with a whole yard's worth of energy. She took out a bunch of weeds along the side of the house and the carport, took me to get 10 bags of mulch, sprayed all the surfaces with weed killer, spread the mulch, and helped me clean up the weeds and all that lattice. And to top it off, she invited me over to her place for dinner!! So yeah, I am truly grateful for all of my friends and all the help they give me. It's true that I do get by with the help of my friends! ::happiness::

Oh, and Cirque was...indescribable. You just have to experience it for yourself, because I don't have the vocabulary to convey it. And yeah, there were hardly any clowns.

Cathy's Clown

Turns out that there are actually LOT of songs with the word "clown" in the title. "Clown," "Ass Clown," "Psycho Clown," "Sad Clown," "Clown on Fire," "Clown Devil," "Pound the Clown," (which I really liked visualising until I thought it might be a euphemism) "Tears of a Clown," "Death of a Clown," and even a track by one of my favourite bands, Blue October, titled "Retarded Disfigured Clown." But none with the title "I HATE Clowns," so I had to go with "Cathy's Clown" since she's the one who got me into this mess. It's like, T minus 14 hours until the big freaky clown show and I really can't stand it. I have heard every thought there is on how to handle this, or that it won't be so bad, or whatever. I guess we will just wait and see, but I really might have a psychotic break over this. See if you hear on the evening news about a woman attacking the QUIDAM performers tomorrow. Stupid Clowns. Who ever came up with that idea, anyway? Ugh.

This search for clown songs actually reminded me that I really like some of the music of the Insane Clown Posse. Of course, I can never watch them on TV or go to their shows, or even look at their CD art; and I prefer to refer to them as ICP. But I can still listen and enjoy, and this reminds me that once, a few years ago, I was waiting for my nails to dry at the nail place in the mall when a lady who was probably just a few years older than me asked me if I thought that ICP was OK. I said that I thought they were all right but I preferred KORN. Right after that, her teenage daughter came up with the new ICP CD and I then realised that this lady was really in trouble. I mean, I thought she was asking me if I liked the band. But I think she wanted to know if it was OK for her kid. Uh, lady? Your first clue should be the "Parental Advisory" label (thanks, Tipper, for making it that much easier for kids to spot the music they want to get) on the CD. After that, if it's anything that your kids actually want or if they tell you all their friends have it and it's "fine," well then, it probably isn't. And definitely, if the picture on the front has crazy-ass scary-looking clowns and the song titles are things like "Murder Rap," "I Stuck Her With My Wang," and "Santa's a Fat Bitch," well again, I'd say, probably not OK for kids. I tell you, sometimes I think people should just have me raise their kids. Then I remember that I really like my sleep and Quiet Time and at that point, I just hope and pray that these kids aren't too terrible when I'm old and feeble and no longer able to defend myself using only my catlike reflexes and a small weapons cache.

sidebar for Jenn and Heidi

Down With The Sickness

I love t-shirts with terrible slogans on them. It's true. For example, when I was younger, there was a t-shirt that read "I'm not prejudiced. I hate everybody." Also, "Married at last...now I can get fat," and "I'm not smart, but I can lift heavy things". These are shirts that my parents would not let me own. I suppose I'm somehow better for not having owned those, but I still get a kick out of totally tasteless tees.

Here are some of my very favourites I've collected via my involvement with the internet.

http://subscribe.theonion.com/product_info.php?cPath=5_20&products_id=171

http://www.onehorseshy.com/lowbrow/myspace?p=onehorseshy.66616785

http://subscribe.theonion.com/product_info.php?cPath=5_20&products_id=170

http://www.onehorseshy.com/lowbrow/my_other_ride?p=onehorseshy.27786890

http://www.onehorseshy.com/lowbrow/guess_what_chicken_butt?p=onehorseshy.69593909

If you have any terrible shirts to share, please post them in the comments!!

A little help from my friends

First, I'm a little concerned that no one else was concerned that I slept with the windows open. Someone could have come in and killed me. Do you people not think of these things?!? Perhaps it's only me that obsesses over the idea of being butchered in my own bed as a result of leaving the windows open.
Second, I'm watching Jimmy Kimmel and he's pulling people off the street to be in a belly flop contest. Now, I would do something like that in a heartbeat. But I have to think that a LOT of people would NOT just stop what they were doing to take off and go be a spontaneous belly flopper.
Third, courtesy of JoeD, I now have a blacklight. I feel a little guilty about this, because it appears that he paid $15 for the light, and the only reason I wanted it was to search around for Stella pee from the Urination Outburst Rebellion of Early Summer 2006. But he suggested that I could also use it for my Halloween decor. Then it occured to me that he probably bought it from the Halloween merchandise that is already on the shelves in a Kroger near you. Now, as a result of having the blacklight, and being interested in what else I could find to glow under blacklight, I have discovered what I find to be The Coolest Tattoo of all Time, Ever. I don't want this one specifically, but this does show me that I could get a tattoo and at some point, it wouldn't even be visible except under the blacklight.
Fourth, the guy who is "the odds-on favorite" for the belly flop contest actually has bigger breasts than I do. For those of you who have never met me, this is saying a LOT about the man breasts.
Fifth, I need some help with various projects around the house. If you can help with one or more of these, please, please tell me now... 1) I have a gate that's come unhinged. I just need extra hands to hold in place while I re-hang it. 2) I need to move my workbench from one area in the basement to another. 3) I still need help getting that dang stump out of the ground (the stump that's grown up right by the foundation). 4) I do need to get caught up on 2 seasons of LOST between now and 10/4. 5) I need to pull down some lattice from the carport roof and I just need someone to watch me and call 911 if I injure myself. So yeah, if you are reading this and can help with any of these, I'll be happy to help with your projects in the future.
Sixth, again, thanks to JoeD, I now have a mirror that stands on a pedestal. I wanted this toi make it easier for me to pluck my eyebrows. This is a good thing, but the mirror is pretty dirty. I wiped it down with vinegar and tried to polish it with a vinegar and salt solution, but it's still got all this...stuff...on it. I don't know if it's tarnish, or some sort of plating, or what. I need help figuring out what to do with this thing.

(i always feel like) somebody's watching me

i have decided to sleep with the windows open tonight. This is bold now that i'm on the 1st floor. I'll let everyon know tomorrow how it goes.

one week

first, let me say that after re-reading my last post, i'm actually a little worried about me. Second, i have a LOT on my mind and not enough time or space to blog it all. Third, if you're looking for my g's, check jenn's blog from a few days ago where i explain it all. Now, i have one week before my family comes here for Tour chez Erin and Cirque du Soleil. Forget not, dear readers, my personal fear/hatred of clowns. Cathy has offered to help me get through it. I will close my eyes when i am scared and she will tell me when it is ok again. Really ok, not like those a-holes who tell you it's ok when it's really not ok just because they think it's funny. Her words, not mine. Also recall that i have just moved into the downstairs of my house and it needs a LOT of work before it's in decent shape. And it's super-messy because i still don't have enough furniture. So I'm a little stressed. Luckily, we get tomorrow afternoon off work. So, i'll be at home fri and sat. Your drop bys will be appreciated.

hunger strike

the problem with usin only son titles as bolg titles is 2fold. Sometimes i want to put a blog but can't think of a song title. E.g. See "why is there a dog, etc". Other times. It's the refrain that makes more sense than the title proper. E.g. Now. "i'm oin hungry" is running thru my mind, bc i am goin hungry. And it's too late to do anything about it. I may be too hungry to sleep, tho. Also i keep thinking about what i'm going to eat next, so "hunger strike" doesn't seem quite right. Basically, let me say that i'm a starving insomniac scatterbrain and i don't know what to do with my self.

Poison

Most of my readers prolly don't recall the Poison I'm thinking of. It was Alice Cooper. I think. Google it. It's a good one from the "metal" era. Side note: I listen to a lot of music that I call "rock," but Heidi thinks is actually metal. We each need to create our own "Evolutionary Classification of the Animals" to set this straight. Anyway, I wrote Poison b/c I have poison something on my right wrist. Which is weird, because I haven't been touching any plants. So, I'm blaming Stella. It itches and I've been scratching it because I learned (via my involvement with the Internet) that scratching does NOT spread the poison. It does slow healing time, but that's a trade I'll take.

why is there a dog on the new blogger logo?

I figured something out this week. It's a little personal, but this explains so much that I want to share.

My body is trying to trick me into making a baby. Yep. It's true. It has taken months and months of haphazard observation to come to the realisation that every so often, I get really sad and lonely and wish I had a husband. This has been somewhat confusing to me because my general observations on the reality of marriage lead me to think it's not something I want any part of. Now, I'm not saying I want to be single forever, but it's a big leap for me to picture being married, either. Most days. But every so often, I get all daydreamy about the idea. It's also at that time that I notice my standards really plummet and some pretty shady characters start to seem like good dating prospects. Guys who I normally think are jerks become "just misunderstood". And I start whining to all my girlfriends that I want to find a guy. So now you know why I waffle. Blame that dang biological clock.

helter skelter

so, i really have GOT to stop watching nightline. In addition to the fact that it's on late, it keeps me up later cos i get so worked up over how stupid my fellow americans actually are. Last week, it was about people rebuilding on Dauphin Island. Yes, I already had an opinion on this before the piece. And this just re-affirmed my opinion on rebuilding as well as my belief that FEMA officials are, well, morons. But that's not the point of this post. The point of this post is that the white supremacist movement has their very own Mary Kate and Ashley. The skinhead twins. They write and sing folk song honoring the works of Hitler &prominent Nazis. They are endorsed &promoted by David Duke. And of course,they deny that the Holocaust was what we know it to have been. So, there's a feature tues. at 10 on abc. In the meantime, I'll be wondering why this keeps coming up. It's not like the supremacist agenda is really going anywhere. To paraphrase the Onion, they've postponed rising again for yet another year.

Well, I didn't make nearly the amount of progress I'd hoped for over the weekend. I took down some of the wallpaper in the "craft annex" but opted to leave the paper that's above the shelves. The problem is that the paper pulled a lot of chunks of plaster off the wall. I spent the rest of the afternoon agonizing over whether to properly plaster the missing chunks, which requires a bunch of stuff I don't have and can't get at the local hardware store, or to just patch them using drywall and joint compound. The "final" decision (I think) will be the drywall patch. This is a closet that was added on after the house was built and it's already sagged below level, so I don't think it will stay with the house forever, anyway. Even once I figure out and install the patches, I still have to skim coat the walls to get a smooth surface and then let the skim coat cure for 3 weeks before I can prime and paint it. Ah, projects.

Also, I still have to figure out when and how I'm going to take out the part of the wall between the kitchen and dining room, set up the dining room so I can also use it as a studio, re-work the kitchen to accomodate the new wall opening, and get the yard generally ready for the party on 9/24. This is a pretty tall order.

I went to church today, which is probably headline news at this point. It's been awhile. Anyway, the message was about being in a small group. Our group took a summer hiatus and might not be picked up again in the fall. I'm hoping that we can figure something out, because hearing Chris' talk tonight, I really started getting weepy for our group. I miss getting together with everyone and sharing our lives. I still find it interesting that the message seems to always be relevant to something that's going on in my life at the time.

I am so planning to get hooked on Jericho this fall.

She Works Hard (for the Money)...

well, i haven't been working hard for money, specifically. But I have been working hard this week. I've moved a bunch of pieces of plywood laminate, hundreds of bricks, and a trunkload of shingles to my house, and all of that mirror wall from one part of the basement to another. I also found out that one of our local scrapbook stores is closing and I picked up 44 pegs at 10 cents each. I'm going to have a LOT of fun putting the slat wall up now. I have an idea I'm going to need more pegs. My plan for the weekend? Strip wallpaper, wait for the Internet guy "Joe," paint the "craft annex" closet, work on the kitchen wall repair, and disassemble the dryer to figure out why it won't heat. Ah, it feels good to be a homeowner.

7

1. When I got home tonight, there was a Porsche parked under my carport. I wanted to get a photo of it, but it was too dark out. This was a first, and I'm pretty sure that it'll be the last. Unless that car comes back.
2. I am attempting to build my shed entirely out of freecycled materials. So far, I have some boards that came with my house, a bunch of bricks from my friends allison & dave, and now a trunkload of shingles for the roof. I love the idea of my "stone soup" shed.
3. Rachel's blog about gray hairs made me cry a little. Also, I'm glad she's doing locks of love b/c i read that they can't really use my hair for kids' wigs& they probably sell it. So I've decided to go w/dreadlocks.
4. But that's ok, because Jenn's comment on my last blog made me laugh out loud.
5. I miss ALL my small groupies. We need a get-together. Soon.
6. I can NOT believe school is starting again. ::sigh:: where does the time go?
7. I hope they find that missing kid. He is so cute I'd wanna keep him.

hard habit to break

i have a new thing i'm trying. I want to make all of my post titles named after song titles. I think grey's anatomy does that, and if it's good enough for grey's, it's good enough for me.

i do a lot of things I shouldn't. Eg, eating pizza. Most people have it as a treat; I treat it as a staple of my diet. It's hard to stop.

something else i shouldn't do is listen to the BBC overnight while I sleep. Because it makes me have the craziest dreams. Like last night, I dreamt that there was a big snowstorm coming, so I rounded up a bunch of co-workers and stole a train to get us home. The imagery was so vivid, it was like watching a movie. Then, in an instant, I was watching a movie. It was a documentary featuring a heroin distributor who was also an addict. The film was of his entire operation and it was very raw footage with a lot of nuances like finding 2 of my friends in one of his opium dens. I was doing the interviews &watching the film all at once. I wish I could shoot the whole dream; it'd be a great film.

sunday, sunday

da da, da da da...
one of my favorite things about Sundays is watching Cold Case. It might be my favorite show these days. I like the way they shoot it and the post-production work. It has a high-contrast look, which is my favorite kind of film. And I like the main character. So, that's what I'm up to right now.
I have a ton of projects rolling around in my head. And I'm trying to get started on them because I'd like to have some of them done by the time I have my cook-out (9/24, details to follow). I visited Joe D today and picked up a load of plywood/laminate pieces. These are going to become the cabinets for my studio. Also, Joe D has a TON of cabinet doors (of course he does) and drawer fronts, so I won't have to buy any of those, either. Almost-free studio = SCORE. The only thing I need is the hardware, and that's the fun part. :-)

just a bunch of boring-ness

hi, friends and neighbors. I'm sad to say i don't have much in the way of "interesting" news to report. Nothing clever or funny or witty to say. But it's been several days since i last posted and i didn't want to leave anyone thinking i had abandoned my blog again. I'm working on getting involved with the Internets at my place. This is more challenging than you might think. For starters, i don't have a land-line phone, so DSL (or even dial-up!) is not an option for me. I really don't want to pay the $50 a month it costs for cable Internet. That's just silly to me. I know that there are several cheaper cable options, but i also just got a flyer that my 'hood is now up and running on the power grid Internet. At long last, Internet available thru a utility I actually HAVE to have. So, I signed up on Tuesday, the modem arrived today, and all I had to do was plug it in to the wall and connect the ethernet cable to my PC. And that's where the trouble starts.

lateral line

fish have something called the lateral line. It's part of their mechanism for sensing what's happening in the water around them. It tells them when other fish are approaching and somehow helps them gauge the size,speed, and direction of the other fish.

i'm pretty sure that stella has something similar. But i'm calling it the "horizontal line". Because whenever i break the 45-degree plane (i.e. Lie down or sit back and recline), she comes from out of nowhere to jump on my lap. This only seems sweet for a second, though, because she sneaks her way up ever closer to my head until she's resting on my chest with her back to me, pressed up against my face, smothering me. She does a similar thing when i lie down in bed, but she won't lie on my back. Instead, she walks over me to get to the head of the bed and plops herself down on top of whatever book i'm reading. As if she has no idea that i'm trying to do something.
i guess this post is the bloggy equivalent of whining "she's touching me...".

out of touch

i have been out of touch and not keeping track of friends and loved ones for a long time now. For whatever reason, i just can't seem to stay on top of things like birthdays, thank-yous, anniversaries, general phone calls and emails, or pretty much anything. I feel like the days fly by and there's never enough time to keep up with it all. When i do make the time to stay home and try to catch up, i spend the entire time trying to get myself organized and end up not making as much progress as i hoped. This is all post-Giant Organizational Project. I just can NOT stay on top of the correspondence and all the papers that come into my life.

the one with all the thank-yous

it wouldn't be proper to have a move and not give my propers once i can move my limbs again. So here goes...
1. Thanks to CNKelly for calling me to help with the bus schedule. Turns out that the bus was never going to come by the hot-as-hell bench i chose. She got me on the right track.
2. Thanks to CNK and Juli for coming over in the afternoon to help. By the time they got here, I was too tired to do anything and trying to preserve something for the truck loading.
3. Thanks to Heidi Camille for taking charge of the kitchen, packing all the dishes, getting every random bit of everything into a box, driving back to drop off the truck, and keeping me from crying the whole time.
4. The Someyers crew. Thanks for the Notary services, encouragement, freakish strength, and flat-out persistence to get the job done. Thanks Kelly for being my copilot & Blake for being our wingman while we drove. And I'm really sorry for cracking Blake in the nads and that he later got his finger smashed to bits.
to be continued...

the one with all the thank-yous, part 2

i promised to continue and i shall.
5. Jen and Jonathan. They were the sweepers. When the rest of us were dying, they came in and brought the gun show. Fereal.
6. The anonymous next renter of the uhaul who, when they founf my phone wedged in the seat, came BACK to the UHAUL store to return it. This thing has my whole life.
seriously, without everyone's help, i could not be in my home right now, today. The only sad thing about that is that i do have to go over one last time because i forgot about my filing cabinet, which was hidden in a closet. So, i'm off to that. Thanks again, everybody!!

when i rule the world...

there will be clearly-marked bus stops with actual schedules posted. Scratch that. We'll just have underground for everything. I'm much better at waiting for the subway than i am at waiting for the bus. In case you're wondering why i'm waiting for the bus, it's because i drove my car ro pick up the truck. It's times like this that i wish i had a clone.

merry xmas!!

i mean, Moving Day. I am soooo excited to move back today that i'm up early and raring to go. All my leg muscles hurt from the weekend's flurry of moving activity, but =lm riding on adrenaline now. And off to get some caffeine to add to the mix. :-) just think. In about 12 hours, i'll be settling in to my own home again. Off to pick up the truck!!

where did everybody go??

remember that arby's commercial? The guy's running around this eerily empty city and he screams that out, and the reply is something like "to the 99-cent sale at arby's". I used to really love arby's. Then i tried one of their wraps and i was violently ill for an entire weekend. Now, i'm aware that those things may not be related. But since it was the last meal i had eaten before the sickness, i just can't stomach it anymore. For awhile, i would actually feel my stomach churning whenever i would think about arby's. Poor arby's. Here i have made a whole blog post about them, none of it good. I miss everyone. Where did you all go?

slightly disappointed in blogger

i sent a mobile blog on friday. It featured a great shot of Buzz looking out at the backyard of our office building. This post never appeared. I tried re-sending it again on Saturday. No dice. My mailbox shows it went out OK. So where is it??

I'm about 36 hours out from moving day. This is very exciting. YAY for moving BACK into my own house!!

what would you do?

This morning, on my way to my doctor's office, I experienced an interesting (and brief!) encounter that I didn't handle as well as I would have liked. I was on Galbraith Road, stopped at an intersection. I saw a woman standing on the sidewalk talking to someone in the car in front of me. I didn't realise it soon enough to get away, but she was asking for something. By the time I realised what was going on, she was at my passenger window. I thought she was asking for money because she was telling me some story about needing to get up the road for her kids to do something about a will of some sort. While I was digging around looking for some change to give her for bus fare, she turned back to get her stuff and that's when I realised that she wanted me to give her a ride. This caused me to freak out and drive away real fast. But I immediately started to feel guilty. I mean, the chances are far greater that this poor lady needed a ride than that she was going to carjack me, or worse. So what would you do?

entitlement?

i've been borrowing the internet for a good 6 months now. This usually works out just fine for me. After all, I have some Internets at work and on my phone already. So any Internets I use at home are for entertainment purposes. I'm just using it for looking at things, I think was the phrase I used to explain to the guy why I didn't need to have my own secure connection. I'm sure he thought that by "things" I meant porn. Sadly, I decided that I'd rather have him think that than explain that it's for looking at scrapbooks and blogs. ::sigh::
My borrowed Internet has been missing for 2 days now and you'd think I'm going thru detox if you saw me. I'm all edgy and restless and irritable and hungry. I haven't started puking and shaking yet, but I bet it's coming. So why do I mention all this? Because it's dawning on me how easily we can slip into this sense of entitlement in our lives. After all, it's not my neighbor's job to provide the Internet to me. Heck, the Internet isn't even a right. But man, am I annoyed.

waaay past my bedtime

Hello, all. Here are some general goings-on with which I could use help/feedback/support/encouragement/smiles:

1) If you volunteered to help with moving and I haven't already talked to you, it's because I can't recall who volunteered. If you are able to join us, I have several peeps lined up for Monday evening (Jen, Heidi, Kelly-B and their fellas), but the more the merrier. July 31. From the M-W to the 'Wood. It'll just be the big things. All the little boxes will be gone by then.
2) Update from the work front: I got the new job! Yay!! I'll be doing work on the same projects, but the work itself will be more technical. And at some point, more strategic. I love me some strategory!
3) Volleyball. If anyone wants to swing by Hooligan's at 6:30 or after, we could use any and all subs. We have 3 people out and it's tournaments, so we may not have subs depending on who we're playing at the moment (our usual subs are from the other work teams).
4) I'm really enjoying playing with Adobe Photoshop. Not for photo editing, for design and layout. Design #2 is posted here. Now all it needs is a photo or 2. I like it a lot considering I was just playing around. And, no mess to clean up when I'm done!

I hope everyone's having a good week so far. I'm going to try to be reasonably responsible and turn off the PC now. Oh, and I fixed my cookies (finally!) -- YAY!!

skin tag

this thing is driving me nuts. what should i do?

a) cut it off and cauterize the wound myself.
b) call now and make an appointment for some time several months from now, by which time I'll have been poking and prodding the thing to the point of nearly ripping it off anyway, or
c) bite it off.

VOTE NOW!!

Weakened America?

I heard some disturbing things on NPR this weekend. #1, one of the biggest trends among teens, tweens, and pre-tweens is spa visits. Spa visits, for pete's sake. As an employed, responsible, tax-paying adult, I've probably only been to a spa a handful of times. Yet we have an entire generation of young girls growing up who think this is part & parcel to everyday life. The reason why? This generation has the highest spending power per person than any generation before it. I believe the number was $159 billion. The report indicated that this works out to an average of $100 per week, per kid. Which is about $95 more per week than I have in expendable income. And with no financial obligations, these kids are going to grow right into a lifestyle that their jobs will not support. In case you're wondering who is instilling this set of values in these kids, it's the baby boomers. That's right. The Generation of the Underfunded Retirement is teaching their kids to put luxury purchases ahead of investing for the future. Now, I'm no money guru. Far from it. But I've learned the very hard way how to manage my money and make mostly responsible, fairly sound financial decisions. And it infuriates me that the very people for whom our government has had to implement the "catch up" retirement deposit is the same group encouraging their kids to follow in their footsteps.

I'm so upset about #1 that I can't even recall what #2 is. But when I do, I will definitely post a rant about it.

In other news, I decided to try my hand at digital scrapbooking. I wish scrapbooking had a cooler ring to it. Oh, well. I'm used to being a bit of a nerd. I will say that we have some good guys on our side. Mark Twain, for one. And that king from the book of Esther. They both had scrapbooks. And as self-absorbed as I sometimes feel that my scrapbooking can be, it also allows me to relive and enjoy the positive memories of my life.

Lastly, and I'm sure Heidi will have something to add about this, I wish our friends at Rubberm@id would have kept themselves focused on laundry baskets and storage tubs and out of the pre-fab shed business. Kelly's family (Mimi, Papa, and Abbey) along with Kelly and I got together today to put up her shed, the Big Max. The instructions indicated that this project should take 2 people a total of 30 minutes to complete. When I left at 9:45, the 5 of us had been at it since 7:30, and the roof was still not on the shed. We'll reconvene tomorrow to finish the job, but I just think that we either needed better directions or 2 giant guys from Rubberm@id in order to get that thing finished in 30 minutes. Silliness.

That's it for now. Hope everyone's doing well!

This landed on the windowsill just now...

...and one of my co-workers commented that it's probably because we all look bored nearly to death.

Nature. It's crazy.

open letter

dear lady shopping at biggs today.
when your kid comes careening around the corner pushing a kiddie cart at breakneck speed and almost takes out a couple of adult shoppers, don't tell her "Say 'Watch out!'". Tell her "Say 'Excuse me.'" Better yet, tell her to stop running around like a maniac in the store. Because next time, I'll tell her. And no one wants that. No one.

UPDATED. The people in your neighborhood

So, here are the links to the news stories:
http://www.channelcincinnati.com/news/9523596/detail.html
http://www.wcpo.com/news/2006/local/07/15/dynamite.html

The WCPO link is my favourite. You can actually see my neighbors and tenants in the photos there. One of which I have pasted here.

The picture right below that one is of 2 ladies I've never even seen before, standing in my driveway. I can NOT believe this all happened while I was out of town. Madness.

Apparently, in my neighborhood, they're hoarders of explosives and ammunition. I wish my little pocket internet could link this up, but it can't. So go to wcpo.com & find the headline about an evacuation in norwood. This is within a block of my house where I don't live. I'm in Urbana just trying to guess which of my neighbors this might be. Is it the guy across the street with the billy-bass mailbox? Or the other guy across the street who yells when anyone parks within 2 feet of the edge of his driveway? Is it the house where Herman the aged mutt lives? Or the abandoned-looking place that's 3 houses down? I'm pretty sure it's not either of my own next-door neighbors based on the description from the article. It could be the place 2 doors down where the old guy keeps a meticulous backyard. This is crazy.

If you ever find yourself wondering why I often say "welcome to my circle of despair," now you know.

saturday night special

live from the wal*mart in the sprawling east suburbs of urbana, ohio, i'm bringing you the update on all the small-town happenings. 1) there's a car show, and the attached photo shows my favorite entry of the show. see rule #7 from cuteoverload.com - any thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is doubly cute. this antique truck and model truck demonstate that. 2) there was a hot-air balloon show AND an art show today as well. this joint is hoppin'. 3) chris r@dford is married. i repeat, married. i'm not shocked, because his biological clock was ticking. but still. he met some chick and married her 4 months later. so yeah, we don't like him at all. oops that's probably a little mean, but i'm still hitting send on this puppy.

fun thing from rachel, erin style

Fun Band for a Lifetime: Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.

I chose Prince. He's covered an amazing range of musical styles in his career. Plus, he's one hot little man. Obviously, with these questions and his song titles, this could have gone way south, but I tried to keep it [somewhat] clean.

1. Are you male or female? And God Created Woman
2. Describe yourself: Baby I'm a Star
3. How do some people feel about you? Sexy M. F.
4. How do you feel about yourself? Hot Thing
5. Describe your ex: Nothing Compares 2 U
6. Describe your current significant other: There is Lonely
7. Describe where you want to be: Alphabet St.
8. Describe how you live: Play in the Sunshine
9. Describe how you love: Strange Relationship
10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish? Kiss
11. Share a few words of wisdom: Sometimes it Snows in April
12. Now say goodbye: Take Me With U

retrospection

From the 2002 files...

 

http://www.cincypost.com/2002/11/06/atransit110602.html

 

"Voters derailed a proposed $2.6 billion light rail system for Hamilton County Tuesday, overwhelmingly defeating a half-cent sales tax that backers hailed as a bold step toward a world-class transit system for Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky but that opponents castigated as a costly boondoggle.

By a 68 percent to 32 percent vote, countywide voters turned back Issue 7, which proposed to use a half-cent sales tax to build a light rail system that could have ultimately stretched from Northern Kentucky to Paramount's Kings Island, as well as fund $112 million in expanded bus service throughout the region."

I was thinking about the missing light rail system today as I drove to work and lamenting the fact that so many of my fellow Cincinnatians haven't gotten on board with this. Oh, how I wish that there would be a train that traveled the I-71 corridor. I would take the train every day just so I wouldn't have to drive. I have to think that all the folks coming from Mason into downtown could benefit from this. Because every day, I see them, sitting still on the other side of the highway, waiting for it to be time for them to inch forward ever closer to downtown. That would drive me over the edge.

In my opinion, light rail into and out of downtown is a no-brainer. It works in so many other cities. Why can't we make this work?

Internet wishes

Since some of my Internet wishes have come true, I'm going to try again.

 

I wish that I could go to the Poison/Cinderella show tomorrow night.

 

I love hair bands.

 

 

is it too soon to drop out of the race?

the human race, that is.

 

I decided to take a spin around the internet while I dine at my desk, and it looks like more of us have been up to no good:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/11_July_2006_Mumbai_train_bombings#_note-11

 

this makes me both sad, and mad. but mostly, it makes me want to cash in my chips and become a cat, or a butterfly, or anything that doesn't blow up a bunch of its own species in order to prove some sort of point. it doesn't matter to me where the blowing up happens, it's always sad. but when it's just a bunch of folks minding their own business and going to work, well, that's the worst.

 

 

pondering

If you find sleep in your eyes AFTER you get to work, does that mean that you were asleep on the drive in?

Close to 40

Not me. The price to fill my gas tank. $38.84, to be exact. This is probably far less than most of you are already paying, but I drive a Chevy Cavalier, for pete's sake. It only holds 13 gallons, total. I suspect that the next time I fill up, I will hit the $40 mark.

 

 

contemplating

For Pat's birthday, since I wouldn't be home, I decided to have breakfast in a local cemetary and release a balloon. I attached a note for Pat and gave the balloon a kiss before I let it go. I know it doesn't actually go to heaven, but the symbolism of the whole thing is enough for me. For his part, Pat would think I'm crazy doing all that, but these things I do are for me, not for him.

I spent most of the day trying to stay busy and not "dwell," but I obviously thought of him several times throughout the day. It's weird. I never thought I would be able to survive without my brother, so my whole life is just strange now. I think I always figured I would die of a broken heart if I lost him, and now that I haven't, I have to decide what life will be like from now on. I know for sure that this is much harder than I would have ever thought, because, again, I always thought I would literally die if I lost him. Instead, I'm here without him and have to try to find a reason to keep going when there isn't always a ready reason.

Now, if you're reading this and wondering why anyone is so close to her brother that she would just die if he died, I guess I won't really be able to explain it. But it's sort of like we were twins. We grew up and we had friends, but since we lived in the country, we couldn't just go next door to play with the other kids. So, we had each other as best friends, playmates, sometime enemies, and most of all, a united front against our parents. In our high school and college years, we were confidants and hang-out buddies. We spent our summers together in overlapping circles of friends. A friend of his told me once that Pat had told her that he was really looking forward to the part of our lives where we would each settle down and start a family. He wanted our kids to grow up together, knowing each other. I wanted that, too. Thinking now about what my life will be like when I do start a family makes me excited and sad at the same time. I know that he would have been so excited for me to get married and have kids, and although I have his little son to spoil, it just won't be the same without Pat.

countdown

Now, it's almost Pat's birthday and I think I'm actually more worried than anything else. Worried I won't do something I should, like call my dad. Or that I'll do something I shouldn't, like upset my sister-in-law. I've gotten to the point where I try to avoid thinking much about the so-called big days. There are too many for me to track now. I think I was actually fine, or close to fine as one can be after losing one's mother. But now, to quote from Pulp Fiction, I'm pretty f***ing far from OK. I wonder if I'll ever be truly OK again. I used to be fine with the idea that I'll have Good Days and Bad Days. But when there are so many days to mourn and miss one's departed loved ones, it seems as though all of life is just one long Bad Day.

"Outgowing"

This is further along the topic of yesterday's survey question.Rachel's last point is pretty much what was on my mind when I posed the question and here's why.A friend of mine mentioned recently that he had, at one point, "outgrown" his friends.I think this is something that just about every woman can understand, because my observation has been that most women don't maintain their relationships with "old friends".In particular, I'm thinking of friends from high school, and in my case, college.Yet, I think every guy I know has at least one friend from that far back.Side note: I do still keep in very occasional contact with my group of friends from high school, and to Heidi's point, I think guys are much more comfortable with that.I wouldn't expect any of them to ask me to be in their weddings, but if we were guys, we'd be each others' groomsmen for sure.Back on point.I think there's something about that loyalty that makes it that much harder for guys to move on and make new friends that it is for women.

Survey Question of the Day

Is finding and maintain friendships harder for men, or for women? Or, it is equally hard, but for different reasons?

Last night's update

I was going to sum it up myself, but my friends at The Chicagoist did a better job than I ever could.

For better shots of Leonid the Magnificent, check here. You have to scroll about halfway down to find him, but believe me, you can't miss him.

I am fascinated with this man.

unsure

just a few days from now will be the day that would have been Pat's 29th birthday. And when that occured to me just now, I expected the thought to be followed immediately by that too-familiar ache of missing someone I love and can never see again. But this time, it wasn't there. No feeling of pain. No sensation of missing Pat at all. Just an overall lack of feeling. Leaving me to ponder whether I'm moving forward in my grief, or if I'm really just numb clear through to my soul.

NOT a fan of myspace

I realise this is akin to dumping someone, dating around, coming back together, and then complaining to each other about the people you dated while you were "on a break". But I just have to get it off my chest that I am NOT a fan of myspace. The fact that I could organise my blog by topics was the main draw. But in order to get that, I had to deal with slower page loading, random strangers' attempts to fly me to other countries, and more thong shots than a Victoria's Secret catalog. Thanks, but no thanks. I am apparently WAAAY too old for all that noise.

In other news, it's already Wednesday (yay!), but I can't seem to get going on any Wednesday work, which is why I'm sending this blog via email. Also, as usual, I have career and life dilemmae and an impending move. So, pretty much the same things since the last time you talked to me, probably.

In the best of all possible news, I got a really nice and really big TV from my cube neighbor Kelly's friend who is leaving the country this week. I'm sad that they are leaving, especially because that family is part of Kelly's urban tribe. But I can't lie -- the TV sure is nice.

if i had a billion dollars

i would build or buy one of those retirement living communities and convince all of my friends to move in, too. We would each have our own little building, but we would also share a pool, clubhouse, and there would be a restaurant so we could dine together if we wished. We would have a gate at the entryway and that way we could just drive our golf carts around to each other's houses. This would be so great because i could easily see all the people i love, but i'd still have my own private space. And if anyone needed to leave the compound, er, community - well, they could drive their golf cart up to the giant garage, get in their car and drive away. This would be the best home EVER.

open letter

dear man driving by my house today,
i don't drive by your home while you are outside and yell "dumbass". Please reciprocate by not yelling "bigass" as you pass by my home.
regards,
erin

little green jellybean

this post is looong overdue, but this happened in the Between Blogger era. my uh-MAZ-ing friend Jenn made this adorable jellybean handbag for me. i love it. luHUHveit! there are only 2 problems with this bag: A) it's so freaking yummy that i don't want to carry it -- i want to EAT it. and 2), it's a delicate, precious item and i'm afraid i'll destroy it by using it. please help me come up with a way to incorporate my jellybean into my everyday life.

Answers to various questions

I have seen some various questions/comments on different posts of mine lately and I have decided to respond to them all here, for my own convenience.

 

1) "Is the model to scale?" Yes. The model is 1:8. Strange as that sounds, 8" is a common base figure in building materials, so it was easier for me to build the model using the 8" scale.

2) Scrapbook night. Yes. I would very much like to have another. I am planning to make a very fancy workroom in my house when I get moved back in. Even before it's fancied up, though, we should plan on this. So, mid August, perhaps. True to form, I still have not completed a single scrapbook.

3) Slatwall. On the other side is poor JB. She is the nicest person and I sometimes feel bad for putting up the mirrored wall. But, she started it all with her mirror that looks like it was part of a school bus before it came here.

4) Porn. I don't actually own any porn. I have, however, seen more than anyone's fair share of it. Mainly because I grew up in a small town. Or perhaps because I hung out with a lot of boys. Either way, in the late 70's and early 80's, there was a LOT of mirror wall, both in porn flicks and IRL. I am aware that some of you were not even born until that trend had passed.