unsure

just a few days from now will be the day that would have been Pat's 29th birthday. And when that occured to me just now, I expected the thought to be followed immediately by that too-familiar ache of missing someone I love and can never see again. But this time, it wasn't there. No feeling of pain. No sensation of missing Pat at all. Just an overall lack of feeling. Leaving me to ponder whether I'm moving forward in my grief, or if I'm really just numb clear through to my soul.